Intercultural Situation – A hotpot of Smiles

September 27, 2009 at 4:51 PM (Uncategorized)

The news is that our Professor’s mother, Mrs Rita has flown in from the Philippines and graciously invited his students for a “taste” of his hometown. We gratefully accepted and 3 of us volunteered to help out in the kitchen. There were Nguyen (Vietnamese), Mieko (Japanese) and me (Singaporean).

The day came and I made my way to Prof Remus’ place. I was 5mins ahead of schedule and discovered that I was the last one to arrive. In fact, both Mieko and Nguyen arrived much earlier than I did and were already helping in the kitchen. Mrs Rita greeted me warmly and offered a hug. I shook her hand and asked for instructions. Mrs Rita laughed and waved her hand saying: “We are having chicken stew and greens tonight. Just see what’s need to be done…”

I was stumped.   Whatever did she meant? Mieko bowed and beckoned me to help her with the peelings of potatoes and carrots. I smiled when I passed by Nguyen who returned it with a nod of her head. Returning the bow to Mieko, I reached for my first carrot…

After 10mins, Mrs Rita came and checked on us and declared that we can start the cooking. The rice was already in the cooker and we started with the side-dishes. I was such a klutz at handling the cookery ware that I was banned from the stove. Mrs Rita explained what was to be done and set us to cook the dish. When we were cooking the chicken stew, she commented that the potatoes and carrots are cut too small. She said that dice is different from cube and that we did it wrongly.

Mieko apologised immediately and added that the next time she will be careful; Nguyen apologised too and added that she will take better note of instructions in the future. I was hesitant in apologising but nevertheless went ahead and added that I never received clear instructions. Mrs Rita smacked me on the shoulder and said that we should know since to stew would mean to cook for a long amount of time and the pieces cannot be too small. Nguyen burst out laughing while Mieko looked on with amusement. Dinner was finally done, and we all had a wonderful meal.

During the meal, Mrs Rita and Prof Remus shared many stories and we chatted amiably. However, Mieko and Nguyen kept more to themselves and Mrs Rita had to prompt them to help themselves to the food more. After the meal, Nguyen collected the cutleries and proceeds to wash them only to be stopped by Mrs Rita who insisted that we’ve done too much and should leave the rest to her.

Thinking back there were many instances where the difference in culture could be seen. While it is customary to arrive on time, many Singaporeans aimed to be just on time. However, for the Japanese and Vietnamese, to arrive early would mean respect and courtesy to the host.

Also, while Mrs Rita did not appear to give me instructions, she was nudging me with her expression and eyebrows. I got to know that many Pilipino uses their eyebrows and expressions to convey more than with words to which I did not noticed.

Then also, the different ways of greeting people are different and notable. Mrs Rita tried to hug me which I felt was uncomfortable. Mieko greeted me with a bow. Nguyen was concentrating on her task and just smiled. After asking them that I know Mrs Rita felt that we are like little “children” and show great warmth; Mieko said that for the Japanese, they would stop what they are doing and greet whoever that comes into the room; Nguyen said that it is not customary to stop whatever they are doing unless it is someone of greater “importance” which I am not.

Then again, I was enlightened to what goes on during a meal: Nguyen said that Vietnamese interact more during the cooking but meal times are for eating. Mieko said that in a typical Japanese family meal, the “youngsters” do not talk freely and should reply only when talked to directly especially when an elder/teacher (Prof Remus) is around.

What amaze me most is the thought that goes behind what should be done after the meal: Nguyen said that it is most pleasing to be invited for a meal because that would mean that the invitee is someone close. She added that Vietnamese always tries to be of service to the host and will often offer to clear the table and wash the cutleries. Mieko said that in Japan the host will do whatever he can to offer a good time for the guest and that after the meal, unless the guest was intruding (not formally invited), the clearing of the dishes and washing will go to the host. She added that it is thought of as a rude gesture to help unless asked as it will be signalling to the host that the hospitality is poor.

As a Singaporean, I would never have given much thought. Singaporean don’t think that much I guess.